Kiss
Puke
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
