Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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