so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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