google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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