dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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