? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
