You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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