Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
