so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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