Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
