i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
