even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
