and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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