9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
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