Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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