it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
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Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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