Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
