got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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