I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
