She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
