I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
