Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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