So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
