You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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