dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
