Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize