So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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