You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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