he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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