Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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