The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
