i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
