Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
