Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Houston, we have a squirter
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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