I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
