You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize