She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
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