giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
