She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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