Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
