I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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