Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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