I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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