Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
