Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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