Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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