when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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