it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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