think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
