So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
