could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
