You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize