I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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