you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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