mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
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my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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