Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
