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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Crying babies in a bar. Really?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Are you 5:30 blackout again?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit

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