it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
