'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.