I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I need water and some morals
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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