come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Be still, my beating vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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