Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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