Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
