i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i dont even know how to be here
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
