Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
