Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
