My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
